Reading is supposed to be an enjoyable process, but somehow, when school comes into play, it has become an additional chore. Rushing to finish the book before the due date, just like the numerous deadlines for schoolwork, has reduced the pleasure derived from reading. It's no wonder I find myself reading less and less the older I get. I wonder if this trend will reverse itself when i start working or it will just accelerate the process. Maybe by then I'll be rushing to read the papers everyday, something that I think I should be doing right now since I've not read the newspapers since the A'levels, I think. I'm becoming a "frog in the well" if not for the occasional few minutes of news headlines i hear everyday.

Mentioning this just reminded me of the 3min of individual speech I have to give for the effective com module on a topic of my choice. Even though it is still 1-2 months away, I can't help getting butterflies in my stomach whenever I'm reminded of it. This is how much I dislike public speaking.. Maybe it's because I'm not well-prepared enough, considering that I do not even have one ounce of clue what I should talk about without appearing childish.. Maybe I'm just worrying too much about what others may think.. Maybe I have a phobia.. Maybe it's a psychological barrier, which means it's a phobia.. Maybe I would have survived a lot better if I were to be born 2 centuries ago since I've always felt detached.. Maybe it's time for me to stop thinking I should be born 2 centuries ago and deal with life now.. maybe.. maybe... I dunno..

If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. But what if I do not have honey or sugar? Wouldn't it be the same then?

i have completely no idea how a seemingly innocent post can turn out to be so depressing... it's amazing how my brain is wired..