Sometimes I really hate myself. I always seem to do things that I will regret later. I hate myself for being so weak. Why did I ever do that... I've always thought of myself as a strong person and have always prided myself on my ability to hold back my tears no matter how upset I am but just this month alone, I've lost control not just once but twice.. The first one was understandable but the second one was really embarrassing. Why did I ever do that in front of that person. I hate you. I hate people who make me cry, especially if I were to regret it later. I hate you. Why ever are you such a wooden block? You said it was for our own good but ultimately you are just concerned about your own ass. If you really wanted to help, you wouldn't have done what you did or are going to do. She didn't care and she didn't get into trouble so what the hell are you so afraid of. Maybe it's just your principles, your way of doing things, how you live, but nevertheless, I still hate you. I can finally understand why there can never be world peace: because people do not understand one another, and even if they do, they do not like it. I hate being grown up. Grown ups are a lot more narrow minded than children and are unable to understand certain things as well as children too. The older I get, the more I feel I'm unable to accept certain things. I hate the hormones in my body.
I hate you. You crack jokes, trying to make yourself belong. We laugh. But no, you still don't belong. This feeling first surfaced when you lectured us on not doing that stupid thing you assigned us to. I can understand why you lectured us and I'm sure they can too but you shouldn't have added what you did at the end. You shouldn't have said that you could get into trouble. You know what people hate most? It's people like you pretending that they care when in fact it's your own skin you're concerned about. Why are you such a stickler? I think you'll make a better police officer than what you are currently doing.
You crack jokes and make us laugh at the expense of someone else. You think they do not mind but what if they do? Do you expect them to get upset and scream at you? Puh-lease... Among ourselves, we see it as teasing and will stop when asked to. No hurt feelings. But you? Never in a thousand years. We've seen through you. We've seen your true colours. I don't think you'll change, and I don't expect you to. You'll never ever speak to me alone. Ever. And I will not give you a chance to do what you wanted to do. Never. Do not expect me to take the initiative to talk to you. Not that I ever do that even before this.